13 Ways To Become Irresistibly cHARISMATIC (pART I)
Updated: Oct 31
Good old number 13...
Synonymous with bad luck, but you know what, I don't care.
This is my 13th newsletter release and I'm feeling PUMPED!
As you read this right now, you are in the company of thousands from across the world who want to sell themselves, their ideas and solutions with influential communication.
See, when I first started this newsletter, the idea was to bring to YOU what I teach companies like Forbes, Oracle NetSuite and Crunchbase.
And so far, it sounds as though you're loving the journey just as much as I am!
"Unlucky" number 13... ohhh, please!
Let's celebrate this superstitious number and its role in the newsletter's milestone.
How are we going to do that?
By digging deep into a topic I'm super passionate about...
By the end of today's read, you'll have uncovered 13 unorthodox tips for boosting your charisma.
Let's get it.
First things first...
The term "charisma" gets a bad rap in society.
Many people believe it's simply narcissism in disguise.
Yet, the very same people wouldn't say no to a magic pill if it guaranteed them more charisma.
But here's the problem...
When we're asked to define the term, we don't know where to begin.
We can reel off names like Oprah, Ryan Reynolds and other famous entertainers...
And we can use words such as charming, likeable and warm to describe them...
But that's as far as it goes.
Let's take a look at the Cambridge Dictionary's definition of charisma:
"A specific power that some people naturally have that makes them able to influence other people, attract their attention and admiration."
I don't subscribe to this definition.
In this season of my life, I see charisma as the following:
"A learnable skill that enhances one's ability to ethically influence people by making them feel seen, connecting with them on an emotional level and displaying authentic energy that inspires them to take meaningful action."
Truthfully, there isn't a one-size-fits-all descriptor.
But here's one thing we can all agree on:
EVERYBODY would love more charisma if it helped them achieve their version of success, right?
Beautiful, we're on the same page!
So, without further ado...
Here are 13 tips to become irresistibly charismatic in business and life.
Tip 1: Smile with your eyes
Approach conversations with a "Duchenne Smile" to display genuine warmth and evoke a positive emotion in those around you (click here to learn more).
Tip 2: Stop giving unsolicited advice
You need to communicate in the love language of the person you're trying to connect with.
Some people might want your perspective, however, others may prefer you to ask intentional questions or simply sit back and listen (click here for an example of how to approach such conversations).
Tip 3: Unlock the power of "no"
Learning how to say “no” positively and warmly is a hidden superpower.
Plus, it's an incredible way to protect your time and energy so you can focus on the people, projects and opportunities that deeply matter.
Here's an example for you:
"Thank you for thinking of me. I truly appreciate it as I know how intentional you are as a person! However, with a new addition to our family and an important project I'm invested in at work, I'm currently in a season of focus. Would you be open to connecting next month when we both have some headspace and capacity? Thank you for your understanding."
I'll be digging deep into this topic for a future release, however, for now...
You get my drift!
Tip 4: Ask Intentional and thoughtful questions
The quality of your questions will dictate the quality of your relationships.
Active listening, being truly present and making somebody feel seen is a gift (click here for an example of how to do exactly this).
Tip 5: Answer questions with a compelling story
Many people answer questions like they're reading a grocery list.
That's a one-way ticket to blending in and becoming forgettable.
Instead, try answering a thoughtful question with a punchy and concise story (click here to unlock my 5 deadly sins of storytelling).
Tip 6: Unapologetically own your values
There's nothing more magnetic than somebody who knows their values, owns them and doesn't waiver in situations where it could be easier to conform.
As a recovering people pleaser myself, I can tell you this...
This one takes time!
Tip 7: Receive compliments like they're a gift
Receiving genuine compliments with warmth and without deflecting shows a high level of self-worth (click here for an example of how to receive compliments with grace).
Okay, I lied...
Are you kidding me, I'm not messing around with the number 13!
Yes, I promised you 13 tips...
But I'm not here to jinx the success of this newsletter haha.
Plus, infobesity is killing our ability to truly take action in a noisy and information-heavy world.
In light of that, I'm going to save my final 6 tips for next week's newsletter!
Without sounding like a kindergarten teacher, here's your homework:
Firstly, practice ONE of the above tips over the next 7 days.
Secondly, reply to this email and let me know how it impacted you and those around you.
I'll see you next week for part II my friend.
P.S. Whenever you're ready, here are 2 ways I can support you:
1. [INDIVIDUALS] The Influential Storyteller: Very soon, I'll be releasing details about an intimate 5-week experience to help you sell yourself, ideas and solutions using influential storytelling. Reply to this e-mail with the word "YES" to join the waitlist.
2. [TEAMS & ORGANIZATIONS ONLY] Book me for a storytelling keynote or workshop: Whether it's in person or virtual, to an intimate audience or a room full of thousands, learn more about how your audience can become influential storytellers at your next sales kickoff, offsite or conference.