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  • Writer's pictureRavi Rajani

HOW TO SAY "NO" WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY

Allow me to introduce myself...


Hey, my name is Ravi Rajani and I'm a recovering people-pleaser.


There, I said!


Just like you, I'm a work in progress.


And over the years, people-pleasing is something I've had to address with intention and purpose.


If I look back and connect the dots, one specific "strategy" changed the game for me.


More specifically, I'm talking about learning how to say "no" with warmth.


Not only did it protect my time, energy and boundaries, but it also boosted my charisma in the eyes of the other party.


In today's newsletter, I'm going to give you a live example of how to communicate "no" without feeling like a bad human being.


Let's get it.


Live example


A few months ago, I was asked to deliver a presentation on storytelling, charisma and communication to a growing sales community.


However, for several reasons, there wasn't alignment in me saying "yes".


If I had, I would have done a disservice to the people and opportunities I had promised to give my energy to.


To operate in a way that's congruent with my values, here's what I said:


"Hey!


​Great to hear from you my friend and thanks for your patience with my reply.


​I appreciate your kind words about my LinkedIn content - it means a ton that you connect with it... truly!

In other news...

I'm grateful that you thought of me for your mentorship series.

I get the sense that it's something you're extremely passionate and excited about!

However, as somebody who often falls into the trap of taking on "too much"...

In this season of my life, I'm hyper-focused on a few business projects, creating more white space in my calendar and being present for my 11-month-old daughter.

To protect my energy and the above goals, I'm respectfully declining any webinar or podcast requests in the meantime.

I hope you find an incredible guest and I'm sure you'll crush the series.

All the best!

Rav"


Due to me communicating with my version of authenticity...


My inner world thanked me with zero guilt.


His response?


"Appreciate that Ravi, respect that you prioritize being a Father, so important!


We will be here when the time is right!"


Here's the thing...


When you own who you are, your values and your boundaries, it secretly tells people a story about you.


Whether or not it's a positive one, well, that's up to them.


Here's what I believe:


People will respect you more for your transparency versus showing up to fulfil their request with resentment.


3 ingredients for success


The key lies in doing 3 things when saying "no":

  1. Approach your recognition of their request with warmth and kindness.

  2. Be specific about the people and opportunities that could suffer if you were to "yes" to their request.

  3. Ensure they know you aren't saying "no" to them as a person, but simply their request in this season of your life.


In summary


Learning how to say “no” with warmth is a hidden superpower.


It will be uncomfortable and difficult at first...


However, once you "get the reps" in, your future self will thank you for it.


I hope you got some value from this week's release!


I'll catch you next week my friend.


Much love,


Ravi




​​

P.S. Whenever you're ready, here is 1 way I can support you:

1. [B2B SALES TEAMS & ORGANIZATIONS ONLY] Book me for a storytelling keynote or workshop: Whether it's in person or virtual, to an intimate audience or a room full of thousands, learn more about how your audience can become influential storytellers at your next sales kickoff, offsite or conference.

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