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I had it all wrong...
Growing up, I thought charisma was about stealing the spotlight, being the loudest in the room and exhibiting extroverted character traits.
The ugly truth: I was hideously naive and wrong.
In this season of my life, I define charisma as the following:
"A learnable skill that enhances one's ability to ethically influence people by making them feel seen, connecting with them on an emotional level and displaying authentic energy that inspires them to take meaningful action."
As you'll see, the word "skill" has been highlighted in red.
Why you ask?
Because just like communication and storytelling, I believe charisma is a skill we can ALL develop.
It's available to us all if we're intentional about adopting the right habits.
In last week's newsletter, I promised you 13 ways to instantly boost your charisma (click here to revisit).
However, I didn't uphold my promise.
I only gave you 7 to ensure you didn't suffer from infobesity or overwhelm.
In today's release, I'll share my final 6 habits of how to boost your charisma without being perceived as egotistical.
Let's get it.
Tips 1 - 7
As mentioned, we covered this in last week's edition of The Influential Communicator Newsletter.
Click here to get caught up before you continue.
Tip 8: Give genuine compliments
Compliments can give people that warm fuzzy feeling.
However, you have to be careful.
Too vague and it can feel like a throw-away comment.
Too invasive and you'll look creepy.
Too contrived and you'll come across as fake.
For me, the key lies in being genuine, specific and warm in your delivery.
Here's what I mean...
Example 1:
"Jamie, you're a great podcast host!"
Example 2:
"Jamie, you ask such intentional and thoughtful questions, it's so inspiring! For example, when you dug deep and asked me the truth about why my first business failed... it stopped me in my tracks... you're a great podcast host!"
See the difference?
Example 2 can make somebody feel truly seen.
Top it off with some warmth, a genuine smile and sincere intentions... and your likability will go through the roof!
Tip 9: Stop interrupting people
Sounds obvious, right?
But just to remind you...
Interrupting people is a one-way ticket to disconnection with no return.
Here are 3 tips to ensure you abide by this golden rule:
Engage in a brief meditation before your next meeting to declutter your mind and focus on being present.
When somebody else stops speaking, pause for 2-3 seconds before you speak.
Write down the urgent thoughts that are stealing your headspace in a conversation and choose to address them after somebody has finished speaking.
In reality, we're all imperfect human beings.
If you do interrupt somebody, apologise and give them the back "mic" to finish their message.
This will paint a positive picture of who you are and your values.
Tip 10: Share vulnerable stories
The beauty in sharing a vulnerable story is that it gives somebody the psychological safety to exchange one in return.
When done correctly, this is where true connection lies.
But don't get it twisted, this isn't as easy as it seems...
If you simply "show up and throw up", you'll have people feeling sympathy for you versus empathy.
The key lies in defining what vulnerability means to you and knowing your audience.
Context is everything.
Tip 11: Explain what you do in less than 13 seconds
"So, what does your company do?"
Most people answer this question in a long-winded, predictable and boring manner.
This instantly makes you forgettable.
The goal is to share a succinct message that's unique, unpredictable and memorable.
Click here to get my exact framework on how to craft a 13-second "Magnetic Message".
Tip 12: Lean into difficult conversations
As a recovering people pleaser, I can tell you this...
Having difficult conversations can be hard on you and your nervous system.
But the truth is, they can lead to beautiful relationships both in and out of the workplace.
Click here to unlock the FBI Method, inspired by Simon Sinek, for leaning into tricky conversations with intention and ease.
Tip 13: Open body language
Relaxed, warm and open body language is powerful beyond words.
Whether you engage in authentic mirroring or show your palms during a conversation...
The key is to ensure you are being genuine, authentic and operating with good intentions.
Click here to discover 23 body language examples and their meanings from the team at Science Of People.
Summary
This short and simple list should open your eyes to a world where charisma isn't reserved for your favourite actors, musicians or entertainers.
Pick ONE tip, implement it over the next 7 days and let me know how it goes by replying to this email.
I'll see you next week my friend!
Much love,
Ravi
P.S. Whenever you're ready, here are 2 ways I can support you:
1. [INDIVIDUALS] The Influential Storyteller: Very soon, I'll be releasing details about an intimate 5-day virtual workshop to help you sell yourself, ideas and solutions using influential storytelling. Reply to this e-mail with the word "YES" to join the waitlist.
2. [TEAMS & ORGANIZATIONS ONLY] Book me for a storytelling keynote or workshop: Whether it's in person or virtual, to an intimate audience or a room full of thousands, learn more about how your audience can become influential storytellers at your next sales kickoff, offsite or conference.
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